Notes from Zuckerberg
I'm not Mark Zuckerberg. And if you are reading this post, you probably aren't Mark Zuckerberg either. But chances are you are one of the 100's of millions of users worldwide who are touched each day by Zuckerberg's creation, facebook.com.
And chances are you've noticed a few of the changes- some small, some revolutionary- that will be rolling across the Facebook landscape over the next few weeks. With all of the "experts" weighing in critically on these changes, from Mashable to Lifehacker to CNET, it's high time we heard a response from Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. After all, doesn't he want to clear the air? Silence the critics? Calm the frantic?
While he might not, I certainly do! And so I submit to you a series of fictitious, 100% fake Q&A's with Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg:
Q: Dear "Suck"erberg - This time you've really done it. You've finally destroyed whatever semblance of privacy was left in the online world. What if I don't want everyone in the world to know exactly what song I'm listening to, what movie I'm watching, or even when I'm using the bathroom?? You've gone WAY too far this time. Goodbye Facebook, hello Google+. -Joe R., Seattle, WA
A: Joe, thank you for voicing your concerns. I have a few thoughts that you may find helpful:
1. Facebook provides robust and very customizable privacy settings. You'll find them in the dropdown menu on the top right of your home page under the sly heading, "Privacy Settings."
2. No app will ever share information that you have not agreed to allow it to share. Don't want your info shared? Don't give an app permission to share it.
3. Using the restroom? Are you serious? I really can't tell.
4. If you were going to leave facebook, you'd have left facebook.
Sincerely, Mark Zuckerberg
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Q: Dear Mark Zuckerberg - OMG!! WTF is with this ticker? Is this like Twitter or something? Or is it just a second news feed? I don't want to see all that stuff. I don't get it. I don't like it. Take it away! -Kaysia P., Miami, FL