Dispelling the IPhone 5 Myths; There's an App for That
As a company, Apple Apple is notorious for playing their cards close to their chest regarding the details of forthcoming releases. The IPhone 5 is no exception, but with almost no concrete evidence on what form and software the new handset will be furnished with - the unweliable and pwone to wumour 'wwws' of the interweb are rife with contradictory hearsay.
Some websites and blogs are promising yet further reductions to width of the design, suggesting that it will measure just 1/10 of a scrotometer. Some sites talk of complete revolution in concept whilst others point to more of a smooth evolution.
There are reports that adobe flash player software and a quad core processor will be integrated into the handset so that IPhone users will be able to listen to Radiohead, watch hardcore fetish porn and, say, make a telephone order for wasabi ice-cream all at the same time. Whilst there are just as many sources stating this simply isn’t true (the software bit, not the bit about IPhone users liking midget porn and following ridiculous food fads).
I would not be surprised if Apple had in their employ; a crack unit of smug all-tooth-no-chin PR jockeys to deliberately leak out propaganda and embellished conjecture just to keep us clueless plebs guessing.
There has been talk of next generation face time, updated keyboard functionality, yawn, boring, boring, boring… what does it all really amount to? Yeah, by the 4th model you realized that people do actually want a flash on the camera, in case they happen to stay up past 9PM at the weekends, but nothing else much has really changed since the first unit has it Apple? And now you’re feeding us the IPad 3 (almost indistinguishable from the first), are you pleased with yourself? It’s just a giant IPhone for Spectrum’s sake, don’t you dare pat your lab nerds on the back and congratulate them for that piece of innovation, if you want the kind of “erm, lets just make it bigger” inspiration that leads to a new product like that, don’t pay engineers and marketing schmucks; consult your local stoners, you can pay them in beer and kebabs, you’d have saved yourself millions.Continued on the next page