A Laser That Zaps Fat? Pipe Dream Or Effective Slimmer? - Page 2
How Sci-fi-esque. But Does It Really Work?
If you’re looking for dramatic results, this treatment likely isn’t for those in need of major weight loss. It’s recommended for those who’re already in pretty good shape (read: a size 6 trying to fit into that size 4 Versace dress you bought last year) and are looking to spot-reduce or lose a few inches. According to Zerona’s clinical trials, they reported an average loss of 3.64 inches off the waist, hips, and thighs. For long-term results, they emphasize maintaining a healthy diet (in other words: eating Krispy Kreme everyday will likely cause the lost inches to return). They also recommend an “active” lifestyle to maintain your slimmer bod. And this next one might be a showstopper for some: during your treatments they recommend abstaining from caffeine and alcohol as these interfere with the lymphatic process to remove fat and metabolize it (which can decrease your results). For us coffee-crazed folks, that one might be downright impossible. (A morning without coffee for me is like Chinese water torture. Seriously.)
My conclusions? If you’re already fairly fit, have plenty of money and are only looking to lose a few inches, go for it. However, if you’re looking for dramatic results and actual weight loss, this might not be your best option. Per the Internet boards there are tons of complaints that Zerona isn’t effective. And at $2,000 to $3,000+ for six sessions, that’s awfully pricy to not have a guaranteed end result. (Hey, for that kind of money, I could buy a lot of Christian Louboutins that come with an on-the-spot happiness-guarantee.) Damn. Perhaps my mother was right (yet again) with her “too good to be true” spiel. Guess I’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way: two parts clean eating, two parts gym, and one part misery. Bring on the spinach and P90X (insert sobbing here)…


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