Are Your Friends Talking Behind Your Back?

Author: Leanne Vicente
Published: March 02, 2012 at 11:03 am

Ever wondered if your friends are talking behind your back? Well if you’re female and your friends are female, no matter whether you are fifteen or fifty, the answer is probably, “Yes!”. It is an unfortunate fact that when any group of women get together, there tends to be a fair bit of gossip about mutual friends, colleagues, even celebrities. It might be a joke at someone’s expense, a comment about someone’s appearance/personal life or an opinion about their circumstances. Whether you like to admit it or not, every woman gossips and it’s not always nice.

So why do women gossip? Boredom, jealousy, or is it some deep-seated anthropological need? John L. Locke, author of Duels and Duets certainly believes the latter. His research indicates that unlike men, who bond via playful banter, competition and verbal jousts, women build closeness in their relationships by sharing intimate confidences about themselves and also about others.

So what can you do if you are the victim of gossip? We might all do it but it can be uncomfortable when you are on the receiving end. Here are some tips on coping with gossip:

  • Accept that all women gossip even family members. You can’t expect to control it and, most of the time, it is probably not malicious.
  • Be careful of sharing really personal confidences…even with very close friends.
  • Practice what your preach. If you find yourself upset by gossip, then make sure you are not doing the very same thing yourself to other people. You can’t control others but you can moderate your own behavior.
  • Feeling a negative vibe from a particular group of friends – it might be time to ditch them, see this quick check list.
  • Remember gossip is a fact of don’t take it too personally!


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Article Author: Leanne Vicente

Leanne is a Mom of 4, ex recruitment consultant turned careers/life coach and online entrepreneur.

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