Baring it All When Women Just Don't Care
Please pay close attention to what I’m about to say:
We don’t care what your parts look like. Stop sending us pictures, emails and other communications showing us your stuff. We don’t want to see it.
You, for some reason, are enamored of our stuff and want to look at it all the time. We share no such compulsion. That’s not to say that we don’t appreciate a handsome guy. We’d just rather see him in a suit. Especially if he’s a waiter bringing us a margarita.
Furthermore, the “sexting?” Well that’s just stupid. I’m not sure what you get out of that either, but I’m willing to bet that whoever is sexting you back is also getting a pedicure or washing her hair or cleaning the bathroom. What she’s not doing is getting all hot and bothered over your self-delusional tapping.
Thanks to one of your own, New York Representative Anthony Weiner (really?), we are again publicly subject to the imaginings of another guy who thinks he’s “all that.” Well, he ain’t. And even if he were, no man can pull off that kind of crap without looking like a jerk.
George Clooney, quite possibly the most glorious human of all time, does not send women random pictures of his body parts nor forward lewd messages. He has the good sense to leave all of it to our imagination, which, frankly, is exactly where we women would like those things to stay. If George were to suddenly lose his mind and engage in such behavior, well, we might take a peek (after all, he is George Clooney), but he would then be relegated to the growing pile of fools who can’t seem to get it through their heads that, unless a woman is a cast member on Jersey Shore, WE DON’T WANT TO SEE IT!
If you really want to get our attention, try acting like a gentleman. Given what your kind is offering up of late, you’ll tower above the crowd. Oh, and we like to laugh. Not at the pictures you send us (and believe me, we are laughing at those), but at a legitimate sense of humor. Most important, be honest. We're sick of the B.S. Incorporate the above and the ladies will be taking numbers to fill up your dance card.
In closing, I hope I haven’t offended. I’m just trying to keep you from offending us. Do the species a favor and put the word out. And for heaven’s sake, make sure that’s all you put out, because again, we don’t want to see it.