Breaking Up, Ice Cream, & Valentine's Day

Among my siblings, we have a euphemism for breaking up with someone. We call it “going out for ice cream”.
It started because we knew more than a couple of people who had, at one time in their life, been broken up with over the frozen treat.
Why ice cream? I always thought that would be an awful way to be broken up with. As if it wasn’t enough to get dumped, the jerk had to go and ruin ice cream for you, too! Some nerve.
I’m sure the intentions of these Ice Cream Dumpers are nothing but the best. No one likes having to break up with someone; so we try to come up with all these ways to soften the blow. But here is the sad truth of it, people:
You’re breaking up with someone. They’re not going to like you for it no matter how many scoops of ice cream you buy them.
So, with Valentine’s Day fast approaching, I thought I’d write a little something for those people dreading the holiday even more than those singles who mourn the day by wearing black and calling it “Singles Awareness Day”. This Valentine's post isn’t for the Sad Singles or even the Happily Hooked. This is for those with that sick feeling in their stomach asking themselves the question:
How Do You Know When it’s Time to Break-Up?
Right about…now. The minute you start asking that question, text your significant other and ask what their favorite ice cream flavor is, because they may be needing a lot of it, very soon.
“But Mary,” you say, “Isn’t real love hard work?”
Yes, real love is hard work…but the work shouldn’t be that hard when you’re dating. Is it ok to have disagreements and arguments from time to time? Sure. But to the point where it has you questioning whether or not you want to be with the person? Never.
Personally, I feel that if any guy is questioning whether or not he wants to be with me, he would be doing me a far greater favor by breaking it off than by “toughing it out” in the name of “love”. Thanks, but no thanks. I prefer a guy who is sure beyond the shadow of a doubt that he wants to be with me. Buy me my mint chocolate chip and leave me alone, pal.


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