Emotional Dysregulation and the Impact on the Marriage
Learning how to manage your emotions can be very important to your marriage, as well as the rest of your life. Do you tend to have difficulty dealing with feelings such as sadness, rejection, failure, anger, or fear? Do people ever accuse you of being dramatic or overly emotional? If so, it has likely negatively impacted your relationship.
Some people appear calm and rational most of the time. Other people, exhibit a variety of emotions throughout the day depending on the circumstances. Emotions impact people’s thoughts. People tend to think differently about themselves, the world, and their current circumstance when they are very emotionally charged. When people become very emotional, it becomes more difficult to think clearly and logically.
When emotions are high, people tend to behave differently as well. Ever said something or did something out of anger that you later regretted? Chances are, you weren’t thinking logically when you acted on those feelings.
When people are angry, they may exhibit behaviors such as yelling, name calling, threatening, or other acts of aggression. When people feel sad, negative behaviors may include similar reactions or isolation, hysterical crying, or refusal to participate in a variety of activities. People may react negatively to positive emotions too. A person who feels very excited about an upcoming vacation may spend a lot of money and later feel regret.
Learning strategies to deal with emotions in positive ways can be beneficial to the relationship. Positive coping strategies help people deal with feelings and become less emotional. People make the best decisions in life when their emotion and their logic are able to be in sync with one another. If people were only logical beings without any emotion, life would certainly be dull. Without feelings, people would be more like robots. However, having too much emotion is not a good thing either.
Therapy can often help people find a healthy balance of emotions. Therapy can also help people identify ways to tolerate the distress associated with negative emotions. Skills to help people make healthy decisions for themselves when they are emotional can be beneficial to the marriage as well.