Feeding the Personality vs. Fighting It - Page 2
Middle son and I came up with a verbal contract to assist his traits of outbursts and anger. Behavior I am guilty of as well. If either of us is stuck in a less than perfect situation, we are going to attempt to feed the personality of who we are in conflict with versus fighting it.
Sometimes, I let the baby do a little more than he should to avoid his screeching method of getting what he wants. Middle son often verbally tackles the baby and he becomes furious that his focus was taken from the activity he was engrossed in. The baby would scream back... Rinse...Repeat. This is not working.
Now, when the baby yells after going after something he shouldn’t have in the first place, middle son will locate an object the baby can have and coax him away from what it was he shouldn’t. If of course after calmly telling him, “Hands off!” doesn’t work, which it hardly does. Minimal anger exposure; thus, feeding the personality versus fighting it. Ultimately we are trying to find a positive, any positive, in a negative state.
Middle son and I have a "safe word"...Dragonfly (I suggested Ladybug but apparently it was too "girlie"). When we are stuck in a rut and can't find the positive in a situation on our own, we use our safe word triggering the other to help out. In the end, we encourage the situation to resolve without anger, anxiety, and/or screaming.
How creative do you get when it comes to dealing with these types of issues with your children?