Heartless Affairs - Page 2
Adultery in any form is a passive-aggressive way of telling one's spouse that the marriage isn’t working. It takes away the couple’s opportunity to speak openly about their problems before a third person arrives on the scene to muddy the water. I know I would have appreciated the chance to have that conversation before someone began whispering sweet nothings in the ear of my then-husband’s already turned head.
My problem with a site like Ashley Madison is the deliberate manner in which its users are inflicting pain on their loved ones. As my husband and I traveled through those agonizing first months after he told me of his (ongoing) affair, I didn’t so much wish that we weren’t heading for a divorce as I wished that he had gotten the divorce first. I kept thinking that he wasn't hers for the taking.
One of the unidentified women in the Today Show piece stated that she was a better wife and mother because of her affairs. The other said that her affairs allowed her to re-discover the self-esteem her husband had taken if from her.
To the first of these women I say if you’re looking for mood improvement, take up a sport. To the second, if you are basing your self-esteem on the opinion of others, find a good therapist. And make sure you know the difference between lasting happiness and fleeting pleasure.
Oh, and I would say this too. Stop being a lazy coward. Fix what is wrong. And if you can’t fix it, get a divorce and move on. I hear there’s a dating site out there called Match.com that might be able to help you find an honest date once you’re free.
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