Is the Sex in the City Approach to Relationships Causing Regrets?
We all know someone who has said, “What was I thinking” in reference to an ex-boyfriend. Now we have a scientific study that proves the majority of women have regrets about past romantic relationships. A recent study published in the journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, found that 44% of women list a romantic relationship as their biggest regret. A close second is family at 34% (which is associated with or preceded by the romantic choices we make). This number is contrasted with a 19% regret rate among men. This makes me wonder are women getting the short end of the relationship stick?
I believe an interesting follow up study would be why we regret those romances. If we can identify why we regret past relationships and what is the major source of regret, perhaps we can avoid the same pitfalls in the future.
Just thinking personally, the only time I regret things is when I don’t let my mind and my heart determine my actions. I wish I hadn’t eaten that 2000 cal meal! I wish I wouldn’t have lost my patience with my kids. I wish I would have been a better friend. All of these little regrets arise from senarios in which I know what the right thing to do is, but I lack the will or the heart to do it. This leads me to the question…..
Does regret come as a by product of a lack of self control?
I wish I would have……
I wish I wouldn’t have……
Any thing I fill in the blank with reflects my own lack of courage, will power, wisdom, or temperance (as defined by positive psychologists—not by reverend so and so). All of these characteristics are parts of or products of self control.
But what does this have to do with romance, which seems to be the biggest mine field of regret in a woman’s life?
According to any romantic comedy we see, love and romance makes us lose our control. Right? We are not in love unless he makes us lose our head and we just can’t help ourselves……
Well, maybe this is one big source of our regret.
Is the Hollywood romantic comedy selling us the recipe for romantic regrets that do not end in “happily ever after” in real the real world.
Continued on the next page
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