Let's end the mommy wars and focus on something grander
I am fed up with the mommy wars. Social media has made it so easy to attack one another because we aren't face to face. It is hard to attack someone in person, but easy to do in a blog, through Twitter, on Facebook or in a discussion board. We endlessly criticize one another. Every choice is wrong: breastfeeding v. formula feeding; working at home v. working outside the home; daycare v. nanny; homeschooling v. public v. private; organic v. conventional; etc.
Motherhood is fraught with uncertainty - who doesn't think she could have done something better? Who hasn't questioned her decisions and choices? But no reason exists to attack some other mother's choice or decision. Each is a choice we make for our children, and each choice has its benefits and its costs.
I belong to several "mommy" discussion groups, and last week one of them had a huge debate over whether it was okay to put "no gifts" on a child's invitation. This mild inquiry as to whether it was okay to do this resulted in venom. Let me tell you. Moms who thought that it was completely improper since various etiquette mavens say that gifts should not be mentioned at all on invitations. Moms who thought that doing so would deprive the child. Moms who thought it was a good idea, especially when the excess is embarrassing. Moms who thought asking for donations for various charitable organizations (such as Haiti relief) in lieu of gifts was a great "teachable moment."
On such a relatively simple subject, I was floored at the level of debate. If we invested that much debate on any significant political subject, then we could change the world. Moms would rule the world.
And that was a mild topic. I've seen many more significantly heated debates, particularly over breastfeeding and working outside the home. Those topics spark passionate debate, often fueled by sensationalist media coverage. Dr. Phil anybody?Continued on the next page