Life After Death
Today I have the unfortunate burden of attending a funeral. It is the funeral of my girlfriend’s Aunt who passed away from Cancer. It was not unexpected but that doesn’t change the difficultly in dealing with a loss. Earlier last week I learned that a very close friend who lives in Calgary father had passed away as well. Again, not unexpected but the loss leaves an empty hole in the family. I spoke with this friend last night to extend my condolences and pay my respects as I was unable to fly out for the funeral. Thankfully two other of our friends were there to lend a shoulder to grieve upon. It was an interesting conversation and it definitely made me think. So much so that I am here writing you today.
My friend’s father had been in the hospital for the last little while. He shared some stories. Apparently his father was no longer able to swallow due to a stroke and the only way the hospital would be able to feed him is to force a tube into his stomach. Knowing that his father had suffered enough and knowing that it is very possible that he had no idea where he even was, he made the brave decision to make his father comfortable with a higher dose of morphine and let him pass on when he was ready.
My friend showed something that very few of us have, the ability to let go for the benefit of another. There is another family that was in the next room whose father has been dying of cancer for two years. He also can no longer eat and they decided to force the tube for him to eat. Only now his body is no longer absorbing the food and it is only making the father bloat. The hospital asked if they were prepared to let him go but they informed the hospital that they would be taking their father/husband to Mexico for some miracle cure. The hospital recommends it and I would ask them to read the story of Tyrell Dueck before buying any plane tickets. There are no guarantees in life and sometimes we have to let go and we are just too selfish. We can’t stand the thought of moving on without our loved ones. But what if we are prolonging their pain? Do we not owe it to them to make them comfortable and pass in a way they would have preferred? With dignity or pride? I know I do not want to be a burden to my family and have them grasp at straws to keep me alive.
My girlfriend’s Aunt bravely decided to end treatment while she still had the mental capacity and was assured there was no cure, to die in her home surrounded by family. This was not easy for the family as a whole but they all accepted their mother’s choice and tried to make her last days on earth as comfortable and as happy as they could.
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