Life Is Like Arithmetic
Remember sitting through math and algebra classes and struggling with formulae, thinking “When the hell am I ever gonna use this stuff?” None of it seemed very practical until you had to figure out how much paint to buy to paint the bathroom, how many square yards of carpeting the living room requires, or how to triple or halve a recipe. All of a sudden, you realized you were “solving for x.”
Some of life’s equations are worked out without using numbers or “x” at all. For example, Beer + Driving = New Car, or Dinner + In-laws = Disaster. Why do you think all these nuisances in life are called “problems”?
Four women in Arizona have been arrested and accused of stealing diapers, condoms, and alcohol from a number of stores. The “alleged” shoplifters--Terra Unique Martin, Demetria Devonne Christopher, Damika Roshun Martin, and Chinque Lavon Richard—were picked up after one nicked a bottle of Crown Royal then fled in an SUV.
When police stopped the SUV, they found “over 150 items taken from stores…” (myFOXphoenix.com). Clearly, we are talking mathematics here. These women had already learned that Alcohol – Condoms = Diapers, and they were merely proving their advanced familiarity with algebra.
Their advanced course, it seems, will include Merchandise – Payment = Jail (and who knows what they’ll learn there). We can only fear they will expand their skills with multiplication, although one suspects that any deals offered by authorities will result in division.
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