Parenting: Democracy or Dictatorship? - Page 2
Almost everything he touched on made intuitive sense to me, and seemed to take into account both the wishes of the parent and the child. Here are some of the highlights from the one lecture I attended:
- Parenting with hands joined in a democratic arrangement is by far the most successful of parenting styles, judging from his twenty years of helping families. Military style parents: throw your whips out with the garbage. To summarize, in a democratic house, when misbehavior occurs, you and your child come up with consequences together. This gives the child a voice and some control over the situation, rather than being rendered a helpless deer caught in the headlights, awaiting the blow of whatever punishment the parent deems worthy.
- Pampering and spoiling children does them a disservice; this includes overindulging, being over-permissive, over-dominating, and being over-protective.
- The best parenting style is one that fosters and develops a child's self-esteem through encouragement.
- Think of successful sports teams: they are co-operative, and work together as a team to produce great results, as opposed to a team with a few individual stars on its roster. A family should also be set up in a co-operative way; minimize competition, maximize working together to achieve goals.
- People don't change, they simply become more or less of who they are from the beginning. It is the role of the parent to help invent a child's future by determining their unique strengths.
- Help children learn from their mistakes, rather than simply chastising them.