Dust on my belly; cobwebs between my breasts
OK, so the other day I was making my way up the stairs in the midst of my house being invaded by a team of interior (inferior?) painters — whom I now believe have all actually departed — as one of the guys hollered down to me:
“You want to move your body upstairs off the wall? “
“Mrs. W: You have, upstairs, dust, you want clean?” Where, I tried to clarify? “On your body, upstairs,” he said, making this sweeping hand gesture across his collarbone as I began to head up the stairs. “You have dust between the chests.”
OK. Didn’t know whether to burst out laughing or make a mad dash for the front door while dialing 911. And then I realized to what he was referring.
It was a Valentine’s Day gift to my husband and, five years later, falls into the category of What Was I Thinking. It involved three office mates, a naked me, and a large tub of Crisco to create it. But high above a doorway in my upstairs, there is mounted a plaster sculpture with a hand-painted floral frame around it on the wall (please tell me at least one of you out there had one of those “I am a pregnant goddess moments …please?). I hadn’t even noticed it in so long that, indeed, there was dust on my belly and cobwebs between my breasts.
I can explain.
It was my last day as a working mom. Or at least as a woman who works outside of her home. Six months pregnant with my third baby in four years; I chose a generous exit package over a third, unpaid maternity leave that would have been followed by an SF to LA commute … IF there was a job for me when I returned ….
My last day … instead of the easy-going goodbye lunches filled with colleagues hugging it out, I was in Dallas giving speeches and moderating panels and just sweating like a pig. A very pregnant pig. So that was done and I'm back on the plane –homebound for good. And there IT was. A People magazine. Right there on the seat next to me. Someone left it sitting there. It was hardly even creased. I’m so used to working every second on the plane back and forth doing M&A due diligence so that I wouldn’t waste any time on work while at home with my kids, that I automatically plopped my laptop on my lap, or what used to be my lap, and cranked it up. Batteries were dead. No response. I didn’t realize how fitting that was ‘til looking back on it.Continued on the next page