Dear Mom, Can It Be 5 Years?
Happy Mother's Day. You have seven grandchildren now!
Things are getting easier. This year, I didn't automatically think of you when I noticed some great silk pajamas at the sample sale. Remember when you were visiting right after my twins were born? We gave all the moms in the extended family those great p.j.s for Mother's Day. This year, I bought a couple pairs for my stepmom and mother in law, but didn't even hesitate about buying that third pair for you. Not that I don't miss you.
It's been five years since you died and I can't tell you how many times I still see a gift I know you'll love, pick it up, think of how it would look on you, think of the delighted expression on your face when you receive it, think of what you would say that would make me feel so loved by you, then realize you are gone and none of these things will be happening. It's weird it can still be such a shock to realize you are not here, after five years. So, that was progress for me this year when I didn't automatically want to buy those p.j.s for you for Mother's Day.
I can still hear Brooke's [my sister's] voice on the phone the day she called to tell me you had suddenly died of heart failure in the emergency room in Boulder. She began the conversation by saying, "Alix, I don't know how to tell you this, but Mom is dead." When we got off the phone I was in such a state of shock. My first instinct was to call you since you were the one who always comforted me in difficult emotional times. You were my best friend. I caught myself dialing your number, then hung up after I listened to your short outgoing message. Your voice. The voice I still miss so much today.
These days, I'm remembering you more with a smile on my face. Brooke and I can laugh at funny stories about you and remember you fondly. You had the best sense of humor and I know you'd want us to be laughing together about old times.
Brooke and I are right now putting the finishing touches on the wind energy exhibit that we are erecting in your name. We're going to have the opening party on September 8th in Boulder. It would have been your 64th birthday!Continued on the next page