Baggie Insanity at O'Hare
Today, I had a meeting at O'Hare airport. I wasn't flying today, just attending a meeting at the American Admirals Club. In my non-reality world, I imagined my dad and I would go through a separate entrance for non-fliers going to airport meetings. I was unpleasantly surprised to find out we had to go through regular airport security. As TSA Pros snooped my belongings with their Xray, I secretly congratulated myself for being smart enough to put my two lipsticks on top of my computer in the tray. I didn't have a Ziploc Quart-sized baggie, however, I reasoned that a 2 year old could eyeball the lipsticks and conclude they would fit in a baggie. Then, the confrontation began:
"Do you have a baggie?" inquired Ms. TSA Professional.
"What? A baggie for my two lipsticks?" I was already enraged at the stupidity. I was going to fight for my lipsticks, so I looked sheepishly at my dad who was already through security. He was looking back at me, annoyed that I was holding things up, especially with frivolous "girl stuff." I knew I had to get my lipsticks back, fast.
"Ma'am, you need to put them in a baggie if you want to keep them."
"Huh? I'm going to a meeting - see," I gestured toward a paper list where another TSA Pro had just put a check mark next to my name after looking at my I.D., "my name is on this list because I'm going to a meeting in the Admiral's Club - I'm not even getting on a plane. I don't even have a boarding pass!"
Ms TSA Pro responded, "You need to mail those to yourself which will cost $15, or they go in the trash." I glanced again at my dad and noted his stern expression, but I had to give it one more try.
"Um, some airports still GIVE passengers baggies since not everyone has baggies at home," I pleaded in my most polite voice possible. Ms. TSA was unimpressed. I think I was pissing her off more, especially since I was imagining our baggie drawer at home that contains our overstock of all sizes of Ziplocs known to man.Continued on the next page