What Happened to the Girl I Married?: A Confession
I have always watched the Stay at Home Mom/Working Mom debate from afar, terrified to get in the middle, horrified by the anger and meanness that permeates the debate. And at the risk of fueling more of that anger I'm going to confess something here... Back when I was a clock punching, 9-5, “working” mom, I secretly and quietly always wondered one thing.
Seriously, what do stay at home moms do all day?
Now that I am a work-at-home mom, who is blessed with all day daycare for her two children, I have found the answer.
Stay-at-home moms do the same thing that work-at-home moms and work-out-of-the-home moms do. They parent. All day. All the time. No matter where they are at any given time. No matter what other tasks are littering their to do lists at that very moment.
At the end of the day we all have our plates full - laundry, house-keep, grocery shop, cook, parent, etc. We just all organize our time differently. The details are different, but the goal is the same no matter where we do it – we have to keep all the balls in the air and do our best not to drop any.
It took a little book to open my eyes to the fact that there really isn't a debate. What Happened to the Girl I Married? was written by a guy, Michael Miller, who didn't understand what his wife did all day so he stepped into her shoes for a year.
Know what he discovered?
Being a mom is hard work. It's hard, thankless work that never ever ends.
Know what I discovered?
Doesn't matter if you work for pay or work for toddler kisses. Being a mom is hard work. Hard, thankless work that never ends.
Michael Miller's book opened my eye to the condition that affects each and every mom no matter how she fills her days. Our greatest skill is also our biggest handicap.
Moms multi-task. We know how to divide ourselves up and give a little of ourselves to every little thing or person that needs our attention. How many times have you folded the laundry while teaching your child some essential life skill while cooking dinner and helping another child with home work? How many times have you heard your significant other tell you about their day while tidying up the main living area, breaking up a sibling squabble, and working out a menu plan in your head?Continued on the next page