What are the Chances? - Page 2
And anyway, it is beside the point. My brother did have a brain tumor and my son does have autism. So after a lot of crying and shouting “not fair, not fair!” aimed at no one in particular but mostly in the direction of my husband, I started to have some other thoughts, this time about loss.
On the one hand, I know what real loss is. I am thankful that I have my little boy with me, happy and alive. We are not facing a life or death situation. My parents, who still hurt with a pain of which I can only now have even the smallest inkling, are reminders to me of that. Still, most parents do go through a grieving process when they find out their child has autism. I know I did, and I still am. It is the grief of an intangible loss: of hopes and dreams, of friends whose kids are developing faster than yours, and of the type of mom I had imagined myself to be.
Unfortunately, loss is part of the human condition. Some people do seem to have more than their fair share of bad luck, but no one gets off completely. I don’t mean this to be depressing. Rather, let it be comforting. Life is hard, but we are not alone. Those of us who have been spurned by fate, or karma, or yes, even probability, simply learn to live a little less in the “what should have been” and a little more in the “what is.” Carpe diem.
Original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog.
Jen is still only about 43% successful at following her own advice. But she is 100% excited to publish her first blog post at Silicon Valley Moms Blog! You can also find her blogging at Anybody Want a Peanut? and teaching sign language to kids as part of the Signing Time Academy.
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