Happiness is a State, Not a Location

We only lived in London for half a year, but I talk about it like we were there for half a lifetime. Consider yourself warned.

One day, I was living the cush life of a suburban housewife in Dallas, Texas. Both sides of the family within driving-distance, tons of friends, a house, two cars in the garage...  

Four weeks later, I was driving my husband to the airport so he could start his new job in Great Britain… because yes, that’s how much notice we had to sell the house, pack our stuff, and relocate our entire existence overseas.

When my husband accepted a position at one of London’s top effects studios, it was supposed to be for an indefinite amount of time. Having lived within a forty-five minute radius of my family for most of my life, I was ready for an adventure.

Strike that. I was DYING for an adventure! So I threw myself whole-heartedly into the idea of living in the UK. We all did, even our then two-year-old son.

But settling was hard. Living in a city with a toddler was tough. Not having a car or being able to open a bank account on my own was frustrating. I couldn’t find maple syrup or frozen waffles and that sucked. Nothing made sense!

I must have wept daily once the jet lag and shock wore off and day-to-day life began. Then, eventually, I started to figure things out. I bought a map, made some friends, and fell in love… with London that is.

As soon as I did, the economic meltdown which brought the world to its knees also curtailed our adventure. A lapse in funding led to the termination of our work/companion visas, and before anything could be done about it, my husband had already accepted his next job in the Bay Area.

Again, it was an offer we couldn’t refuse. Again, we had less than a month to pack up and move. Then in the midst of it all, I realized I was pregnant with our second child.

Settling into our new life in Silicon Valley was even harder than settling into our life in London. Perhaps it’s because I was no longer a novelty and no one pitied the silly American girl. Or perhaps it was the long hours and weekends that my husband started putting in shortly after our daughter was born

I spent my days isolated and alone with two children- no friends, no family, and no help- in a town where the biggest news was the opening of a new Target.

It wasn’t even a Super Target, just a normal one. Stab me with a fork!

All I could think about what how much I missed living in London. I missed the culture and the art and the history. I missed the sounds and even the smells. I missed the accents (even though I had trouble getting past them sometimes). I missed the opportunities that were just opening up. I missed our fabulous life. Most of all, I missed the friends I left behind. 

Why did we have to leave London?! WHY, Husband, WHY?!

As I was pouring out all of this and more over Skype to a dear friend and fellow American expat still living in the UK, she simply wrote back three little words:

I.

Miss.

Target.

I laughed out loud, because that was exactly what I needed to hear. I missed Target too when I lived in London. I even missed my open-24/7 Super Wal-Mart. So much so, that I may almost missed the fact that (insert fake Cockney accent) “ ’ello, ‘ello, Love. Bes’ter snap aaaht ‘ov it. You're livin' in Lon’on. Nuff said, yeah?”

I think we made the most of our situation, but looking back I wish I had spent even more time enjoying it.

So the next day, I bought a  map, made some friends, and it may be early to tell… but I think I just may like Silicon Valley after all.

Ultimately, the choice isn’t where to live. It’s whether or not to be happy.

This is an original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

You can read all about Grace Duffy’s adventures and missteps overseas in excoriating details at American Mom in London. These days, you can find her at her personal blog, Formerly Gracie, or you can follow her on Twitter @graceduffy.

About this article

Article Author: Grace Duffy

Grace Duffy is a married mom of two living in Silicon Valley. She is the tech columnist for She Posts. She maintains a personal blog at Formerly Gracie and is a contributor at Mama Manifesto.

Grace Duffy's author page — Author's Blog

Share:

Add your comment, speak your mind