Must our date nights always get hijacked?
Ah just back from a very long Memorial Day weekend in Reno, Nevada, where I spent the majority of my time trying to keep my two young daughters somewhat entertained while trying to avoid clouds of indoor smokers every time we set foot outside our hotel room at the Atlantis Hotel and Casino ("Mommy, why did you take us to a casino for our vacation?”)
No, no, Mommy and Daddy didn’t take you on vacation here. We came here to elbow our way through a massive maze of 45 basketball courts filled with traveling teams (one of which their older brother belongs to) simultaneously playing in this huge convention center adjoining the hotel for the infamous “Jam On It” regional basketball tournament. Yes, it’s a glamorous life this traveling team league but with a kid whose found his passion at age 11, well, we just sort of go with the flow.
So when my husband suggested midway through the weekend that he and I needed to have a date night to ourselves after all this “family” time together and then found the perfect venue – The Mountain Winery in Saratoga - and the perfect event – the Goo Goo Dolls in concert – the weekend started looking up. The concert was on Tuesday, and it would be hard, hard to find a sitter this late but let’s try he said. And I did it - found a sitter, broke the news to the kids that we’d be ditching them the next night because we needed a little Mommy / Daddy time. The element of romance in his gesture was not lost on me – we started dating the year the Goo Goo Dolls came into their fame and were big fams at the time, though don’t ask me to hum you one of their songs right now. We arranged for transportation, drinks and dinner so we could really enjoy our night reminiscing about “those days.”
So, should I not be surprised when tonight he says, hey – guess what? I talked to Good Friend and Good Friend’s Spouse and they want to come along, isn’t that great? Well, yes, I say. I think. I mean I really like that couple. But, isn’t this supposed to be our date night? Then I got a little bothered when the couple had us change our plans so that we could leave later to pick them up when they could leave, canceling our dinner plans and scrambling to find some place to wolf down something before the concert started or have to eat there.
So after a little rescheduling and a change of head if not heart I decided I was being petty. Though it does seem to me that my hubby tends to get overly social when it comes to planning “our” time. Like the time he said, why don’t you meet me at our favorite lunch place only to have pulled a few tables together to accommodate a few people he ran into while waiting in line for a table. His view? They waved him over. My view? Just wave next time and leave it at that.
I wonder: does a double-date night even count as “alone” time? I rationalized that having another couple along for the show might be more fun. While our one-on-one night would be sabotaged they’d probably help us avoid drinking too much and getting into an argument. And sometimes when we do fiercely protect these date nights we end up staring at each other across the restaurant table just as parenting fatigue sets in and realize we’ve already said everything of interest and importance that night by the time the appetizers arrived.
With our plans and my outlook adjusted now I’m sure we’ll have a great time, Plus, I do love this couple. Um, the couple that just called and canceled on us because they forgot their son had a thing to do at school that night that they couldn’t miss. Oh, well. in the words of the late, great Rosanna Rosannadanna, Nevermind.
This is an original post by Pamela Weiss for the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.