Saying Goodbye to Old Friends
The world has become a pretty small place and most of us move around a lot. We move away for school or a new job, and most people I know have friends across the country and around the globe. But even with cell phones and instant messages, email, Facebook and Twitter, I find it difficult to maintain close friendships with people who live far away.
I had a dear friend in business school. We had great times together, as roommates in New Haven and going to New York City whenever we could. After graduation, I moved back to L.A., he went to the city. I visited as often as I could, and he would come to California. But time passed. I met someone and so did he. I had kids and couldn’t just come visit for the weekend anymore. This was not a romantic relationship, so there was no break up, but just a gradual drifting apart. I still think about him often, but we aren’t really in touch any more.
Another friend of mine moved back to her home town of Albuquerque when her father was ill. As his health improved, rather than return to California, she and her family moved to Texas to follow a job and less expensive real estate. We were close almost from the day we met and I pictured us in the same town, taking our kids to the park together and having family barbecues. We do still talk and email, but it’s not like before. She has never met my kids, and I’ve met her daughter, going on four years old, just once.
I just learned that another friend of mine is moving out of the area. She’s moving back East, closer to family and a vacation spot on Cape Cod. She’s a newer friend; we met when our now three year olds were babies. I’ve met a lot of new people since having kids, but she is one of a handful I’d consider a true friend. I’m sure we’ll keep in touch, hope we’ll get to visit occasionally, but of course it won’t be the same. And clearly this is going to put a serious damper on the future nuptials between our children. (I’m only partially kidding about that one.)Continued on the next page