The Real Deal on Childfree Guys
These days we are seeing more and more out there on women choosing not to have children. We still don’t hear as much from childfree guys and why they have chosen the childfree life. And when it is out there, it often misses the mark, because it is really an article about his “resistance” than lack of desire.
Take Okfreedate’s recent piece. It lists five potential reasons men don’t want children. One is fear: It says, “Don’t take the phrase I’m not ready to be a father” literally, because there is always an underlying message…he’s afraid of changes and responsibility; he’s afraid that you’d be taken from him and he wouldn’t be able to cope with difficulties.” Solution: Try to make him understand that you both are responsible for the decision to become parents and will be able to handle all difficulties together.
Then there’s uncertainty: He asks himself, “Will he be able to find a due space in a family with children's cries, whims and constant care about a baby?”
Or the loss of freedom that comes with the onset of parenthood and children: The solution—“make an agreement with him and offer to restrict his freedom slightly.” In other words, somehow get him to agree to a fantasy!
It could also be that his “instinct” has not kicked in yet. Solution: support a chance for him to become a godfather...because when holding a baby during a christening ceremony, he “may unconsciously start thinking that he wants to rock his own child tenderly in arms more than anything else.”
And last, it may be that he thinks he is just not ready. What to do? Realize this just means he is not “ready for facing his own fear and beating it…You must agree that it is not so easy to beat your fear, sacrifice a part of your freedom and prepare for unpredictable changes,” especially they guy is still a young boy deep in his heart.
Continued on the next page
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