Tiger Mom-To Be or Not To Be
It has been a tough Back to School season. Not for my son H who just entered kindergarten but for his mother, who has been struggling with whether or not she will be a Tiger Mom. The school that H just started is ranked 9/10 by Great Schools. Our lease ends at the end of September and it had been my plan since we moved to Tremont a year ago that we would move at the end of the lease to a neighborhood in Brightville where the elementary school is ranked 10/10. But two things have come up that makes me wonder whether I need to move at all.
First, the rentals in that "perfect" Brightville neighborhood are currently priced approximately $1000 more than what we are currently paying. The price differential is entirely because of the school district and not the quality of the housing, which I can honestly say is not very good. Most of the houses available for rent are old and not very well maintained because the owners know the rental demand outpaces the supply. One house was covered with black mold. Another house had numerous cracks in the ceiling and walls (we suspect from earthquakes), but the owner shrugged them off saying that was the way old houses settled. We could pay the differential if we felt it was worth it, but we're not convinced that the school district by itself justifies the cost.
Second, a good friend I made in Tremont, Sunny, said some things recently that made me think hard about my determination to move into Brightville. Sunny doesn't want her children to go to a bad school but also doesn't feel the need to move into the best school district. Sunny wants her children to grow up with diversity and interact with people from all different socio-economic backgrounds. Tremont has those differing backgrounds. Each school has students from single-family homes, apartments, condos, low-incoming housing and mobile home parks. The Brightville neighborhood, on the other hand, consists of mostly single-family homes. For Sunny, her family's mission and its role was in the community was more important than how her kids' school ranked in the polls. Rather than being kid-centric, Sunny and her husband are family-centric, considering equally the needs of each member of the family when making decisions.
What Sunny said was like a revelation to me. While I was growing up, I had always resented my parents' singular goal for me to go to Harvard. Everything they and I had done throughout my childhood was for that end. Violin, cross country, working at the library, and volunteering at the hospital were all things I did for my college application. I had always wanted to be in the school musical, but never got the chance since I was stuck in the orchestra for that same musical. I wanted to go to sleepovers and hang out at the mall, but always had to be home to study or practice violin. By moving into Brightville, was I taking a step that would lead down that same road with H?
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