Top Ten Reasons NOT to Get Married
It’s the month of June, the most popular month for couples to march down the wedding aisle. In fact, it is believed that the month of June was named after the Roman goddess, Juno, wife of Jupiter, and goddess of marriage. At any rate, June is the most popular month for couples to take the plunge because a June wedding is considered to be good luck, or perhaps because so many of us simply like to follow tradition ...or both.
But why get married at all? Let’s face it, the practical reasons as to why one should avoid marriage far outweigh the perceived benefits. It used to be a social necessity to marry in order for a couple to cohabitate (at least in peace) and bear children, but cohabitation and having children out of wedlock are no longer considered taboo in much of the world. Perhaps the only advantage now for getting married is to be able to file a joint tax return.
So, in honor of June, the traditional month of marriage, below is a semi-humorous entry à la David Letterman as to the top ten reasons to NOT get married. (Note : This was written from a perspective of marriage American style.)
Top Ten Reasons to NOT get Married:
10. It’s passé. Marriage is an antiquated ritual, involving a man in a penguin suit walking down the isle to the tune of quite unoriginal music, in front of envious people, with a women (he’s already been living with for months...or years), who is donning an extravagantly expensive garment she’ll never wear again, and one which keeps everyone at bay for fear of tripping over it.
9. The expense! Why lay out $25 K (the average cost for a wedding in the U.S.) for a one-time event when such as sum would make a hell of a down payment on a house?! (Not to mention how many lap dances $25K would buy!)
8. The average cost for a divorce is $20 K. Just think: if you make a really poor judgment call on your “life-long” mate, and the marriage only lasts a year, that’s about $50 grand that you and/or your family has forked out just to say “I do” ... and a year later to cry out: “I’m keeping the house!” I say treat yourself to a brand new car instead and help put a lawyer out of business!Continued on the next page