What's Missing From the Sandwich is the Meat
Biting down into a Culvers deluxe butter burger with cheese, I had a real Oprah Aha moment as to why America has a fascination (real or hyped) with Oprah and Gayle's no-last-names-needed relationship. Even after denying and crying the rumors of their alleged sexuality during her interview with Barbara Walters, there are those who still want to assert that Oprah Winfrey is a lesbian.
Oprah said she’s not a lesbian, and why would she lie when she’s been so forthcoming about so much of her life? If Oprah were a lesbian, the world would know by now. Though not everybody is infatuated with everything Oprah, we do love a good story, and it doesn’t get much better than Oprah’s rags-to-riches tale. She spit in the face of isms — classism, racism and sexism — to become one of the most influential women in our country. The self-made media mogul is the pinnacle of the American dream. The idea of Oprah being a lesbian is not immoral; it’s un-American. In the infamous words of Clara Peller, “Where’s the beef?”
Oprah has to be a burger. She can’t be a fish or veggie sandwich or even a grilled cheese in a land of meat. We are a nation of burgers, home to the Big Mac, the Whopper, you get the idea? So, for our hero to be a lesbian would alter the meat-and-potato landscape of America. We’d get over it, but things would never be the same.
We actually like lesbians, especially if there’s a man sandwiched between them, and Oprah would be in good company. It’s been long speculated that former first lady Eleanor Roosevelt might have been more than “just friends” with Associated Press Reporter Lorena Hickok. There are the “Things Are Getting Interesting” Remy Martin ads that feature two women in one, and a man and two women in another. We’ve seen Hugh Hefner with twins; we love Ellen, who came out on the Oprah show only to have her then-lover leave her for a man. The questionable sexuality of rapper Nicki Minaj makes her more alluring.
It’s been said the top fantasy for a woman is to be with another woman, and for a man, it’s to be with two women. So what Oprah needs to do is create some photo ops with Steadman between her and Gayle because all that’s been missing from the sandwich is the meat.
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