Why Aren't You Married? I Don't Know
Writer Tracy McMillan sparked a mini-war in the blogosphere a few weeks ago with her Huffington Post article, "Why You're Not Married." The article, which listed a number of reasons why single women aren't finding the man of their dreams, drew the ire of single women, many of whom wrote rebuttal pieces declaring that McMillan definitely did not speak for them. For their part, some men jumped into the discussion, congratulating McMillan for confirming what they knew all along: that whatever the relationship issue is, it's the woman's fault.
Relationship articles like those of McMillan and her detractors are like WebMD. WebMD can be a valuable tool, as long as you don't rely on it for medical diagnosis. Why? Because when you type your symptoms into WebMD, WebMD returns the worst case scenario. Coughing? Lung cancer. Acid indigestion? Esophageal cancer. Tingling in your foot? Loss of circulation and possible onset of gangrene.
Just as you shouldn't rely on WebMD for medical advice, neither should you rely on a TV writer for relationship advice. Like McMillan, I am divorced. Unlike McMillan, I only had the stomach to do it - marriage and divorce - once, not three times. I talk about marriage and relationships, among other topics, on my blog. But I focus primarily on my own relationship issues, sharing my stories in hopes that someone may recognize herself in my experiences and, if nothing else, feel secure in knowing that she's not alone.
I can tell you why my marriage failed: I married the wrong guy, for the wrong reason. My friends marvel that it took therapy for me to see what they saw the first time they met my ex. Whatever. We are always blind to what's right in front of us.Continued on the next page